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FaerieLady Knits

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

The fuse has been lit... SP3 Rant

If you don't want to read this, then don't. I don't have really anything nice to say, because this has gone on too long and I'm very tired of it. People in the exchange have done the one thing that I hate so much I will usually go out of the way to avoid it... they've lit my fuse. This is what I have to say about it. The next post will be about what I'm doing lately. It might take a few days to be posted.


Ok… I’ve put up with being yelled at, snarked at, bitched at, have had the nastiest emails chucked in my general direction, and been shit on. You want to know what pisses me off the most? Seriously? The fact that I *volunteered* for this shit.

The depth of human depravity, greed, and pure lust shouldn’t surprise me. I’ve seen some very horrible things, actions committed against family members when the person had a diagnosed terminal illness with no surgical or chemical “appeals” left to be granted. I’ve seen family members steal their homes, spend all their money, sell their cars, and even give away their precious animals. I *know* exactly how cruel and disgustingly greedy human beings can be. To be honest, I prefer my dogs to the vast majority of the human populace, because my dogs exhibit more honest feelings that said than many human beings.

I’m sure at least a couple people are confused, wondering where in the hell this rant is going, and what in the hell sparked it. Well, ladies and gents, I have well over 100 reasons to be pissed off, and the vast majority of them are active knit bloggers with nothing better to do then piss and moan about how they spent more money and didn’t receive the same in return (oh, and I can’t control what other people buy) or that it’s *MY* fault they got a pal that they didn’t like, or how I am this super-human control freak with nothing better to do than shit on their parade. Well fuck them. On second thought, no don’t. I don’t know for a fact that their kind of shit isn’t transmittable.

There were people who sent me nice emails, concerned emails. Those people were few and far between, and their emails were cherished as the diamonds hidden in the piles and heaps of pure unadulterated shit. Only to those people do I have nice things to say, because those people treated me as a human being capable of feelings, of thoughts and emotions. Thank you to those people. You know who you are.

I did the best that I could with the resources that I had available. Do you know who decides whether or not to make this a good experience (or a learning experience)? You do. The blame rests on you, my friends… not on me. If you choose to like your pal, then great! This gives you the opportunity to attempt to make a friend. If that person rebuffs your advances, your attempts at friendship… write it off. My Gods, people… this is the REAL world of the INTERNET. There is no way to tell *for an absolute fact* if a person is a flake, a bitch, or a total gem simply by passing emails back and forth! Many people form opinions that are close to the mark, yes. However, just as many people meet in real life and decide that email correspondence is the best thing possible because X does something that Y doesn’t like. That’s called Life, my friends.

I gave many chances to contact me about wayward pals. Those that chose to contact me received a timely response (usually in less than 24 hours) from me detailing to them what I wanted to know from them, and I immediately emailed their pals. If I didn’t receive a response within SEVEN DAYS (excluding weekends), or if they’ve had numerous problems with their pals, then I assigned them an angel. There were eight, count them EIGHT angel assignments. That’s ALL. There are a couple people who said they received angels, but I can tell you RIGHT NOW that their angels were NOT from me, instead they are sweet people who decided to send gifts to their friends.

C’mon people… Can we please stop the nastiness? I’m getting sick and tired of seeing it being passed around on a plate for everyone to partake of. If you don’t like the secret pal exchange, don’t take part. Let’s just *move on*.

The Secret Pals 3 exchange is over. The spreadsheets are being deleted. The blacklist will be forwarded to the next host, so she knows who to watch out for. Period. After this is posted, I will answer no more questions, and I will not respond to any more emails. There were three months to ask questions and receive answers. I’m tired, my friends… tired of the meanness, tired of the nasty slurs, tired of the blog posts and the snarks and the whiny bitching. I don’t have the patience to deal with this any longer. I’m surprised I held out this long before my fuse was finally lit.

FaerieLady posted at 8:19 PM

12 Speak to the Faerie Queen


Awww Kae, that so sucks. Why don't people understand that all you were doing was making it possible for all of them to make the best out of a situation. It wasn't your job to do anything else but make the connection between two people. I think you went above and beyond the call of duty and did a wonderful job. I loved being a pal and having one. It was a great experience and I intend to do it again.

Thank you, Kae, and I'm sorry for the people who can't be nice.


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:32 PM  

Kae, I won't lie and say that this rant isn't the reason I'm thanking you. It was a good reminder. THANK YOU. I wouldn't have taken all this organization on my plate and I certaintly wouldn't have thought people would be all, well, jerky so I wouldn't have even expected all this nastiness. Like you, I know people are nasty and most people are depraved mean SOB's. However, I try to surround myself with friends who I love calling my friends and don't like to associate with the "dark side".

Having said all that to tell you I'd have been in the same place you are except I'm not as generous as you (and it was definitely generosity, especially during Finals Week when I'm usually half insane), really, thanks. I had a great time. My secret pal sender sent some wonderful items that were well thought out and she knew I wanted them. She communicated regularly and has a great sense of humor. I thanked her in my posts every time she sent something. She also occasionally left fun comments on my blog.

My recipient, Elisa, was so sweet. You know, the kind of person who loves getting just about anything and so grateful. The perfect recipient because she'll always love her gifts. Elisa always said something positive about her gifts and never anything negative, ever. Even when she had to go to the scary post office to pick up her package where all sort of weirdos accosted her. She blogged that she totally enjoyed SP3, too. If you want a pick-me-up, read her post

So. All this is to tell you, once again, that I had a great time. Thanks for making this possible. I may not be able to indulge in this often (can we say Christmas Credit Card bill?) but it was extremely fun. As for the bad apples... let 'em rot. Good luck on finals and projects :)

By Blogger Freecia, at 10:16 PM  

What Freecia and Alyx said! And please add my thanks. You were a TERRIFIC SP hostess and I thank you mightily for the two terrific SPs, receiving and giving, that you hooked me up with! You totally rock and I can't imagine how you did so much with munchkin and family and all...please don't led the nasty ones rule the roost. You're right to be pissed AND just let 'em go. You brought a lot joy to us all.
All the best,
aka FiberTribe

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:38 AM  

Just remember all the people who did have a fun time. The others create their own misery. Hugs, Kae for a great job. At least you know you did your part.

By Blogger margene, at 8:45 AM  

So sorry you have had to deal with this crap. Some people just can't get it that this wasn't about what material things you received and how much money was spent. You did a wonderful thing organizing SP3, don't let the bottom feeders ruin that for you!

By Blogger Colette, at 9:38 AM  


All of the things you mentioned in your rant were reason I DIDN'T join SP3. I missed SP1 and thought it looked like so much fun that I immediately hopped on the bandwagon with SP2 and was sorely dissappointed. I had a great match for the person who sent me surprises and she was as sweet as can be and now that I know who she is I regularly read her blog. I was matched with someone who couldn't have been more different from me. I sent her goodies and emailed when I could yet kept reading things on her blog like "secret pal where are you?" I felt put upon and sending goodies became a chore and not the pleasure it should have been. I too want to thank you because you came up with the greatest alternative - Fiber RAOK. I joined that ring because it is a great way to offer encouragement or just send a smile where it seems to be needed or indeed just randomly. It is nice to see someone having a bad day and be able to reach out and send something that is truly appreciated even if what you send is not material in any way. So Kae - thanks again for FiberRAOK and don't let the b$#^&ds get you down. You went above and beyond.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:52 AM  

I can't believe people would give you carp over these petty complaints! *boggles* You put a ton of time and effort into creating a great experience for us, and you deserve lots of thanks and not one bit of complaint. People shouldn't join exchanges like this unless they can get *at least* as into the giving as they do the getting...

Maybe you should forward the info of the bitchers on to the sp4 organizers, too... a sort of "brown list". They could even be all matched up with each other to create their own little circle of whinging and moaning and bitterness, not to contaminate the rest of us who just want to have fun and meet some new people!

I'm really sorry that these people have ruined this experience for you... hopefully some of the appreciation that is out there will get in, too, though.

By Blogger Shannon, at 12:27 PM  

I love the part about your dogs! It's so true.

You did a great job on SPIII. I only wish I hadn't had my daughter join, her SPIII was a total flake....and you know what, that person got away with it. The only thing I can say, is I hope someone will do the same to her. It's a shame people "say" they will do something, and then don't.

As for the people who didn't like their gifts...they should be lucky they even got a gift.

It would be nice if the "blacklist" was posted before the next SP starts - then we'd know who not to count on. I will no longer participate in anymore SP's, and it's a shame. (NOTHING to do with you Kae, you were and are GREAT).

It's a shame that my daughter doesn't know who her SPIII was, why would you want to read someone like that's blog. Not I.

As for my SPIII, well, I truly understood why she quit, and I hope things are better for her now.

No one knows what you went through Kae, and they never will. They would have to "walk in your shoes" to even begin to try.

Anyhow, I think you did a fantastic job and I was really glad to have met you through SPII. Don't let the mean ol' grouches get to is too short and they aren't worth it.

Enjoy your day!


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:06 PM  

Can I buy you a drink, Honey? Sorry about all that crap. You deserve so much better. I know how much work you put into RAOK, and I'm sure you did as much or more for SP3. I'm glad I sat this round out, if it caused you so much consternation. (Norma)

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:19 PM  

Kae, I can honestly say " I feel your pain". I'm so sorry that people treated you this way. It shouldn't have happened.

By Blogger Sandysknitting, at 6:17 PM  

Hi Kae -

It well and truly sucks that you've had to deal with so much shit from the SPIII participants. I had a terrific secret pal (Freecia, who actually commented earlier and made me blush crazily) and really enjoyed the program. You put so much effort into making this a successful program, and for the good apples, well, it was great. And like Freecia said, the bad apples? Just let 'em rot.

On another note, can I tell you how *thrilled* I am to be accepted into the FiberRAOK ring? Freaking fantastic!

By Blogger Elisa, at 8:20 PM  

Kae, I'm sorry (but sadly, not surprised) that your good deeds have had such a result for you. But as Margene said, lots of us had a great time with SP3 -- the pal who spoiled me was a complete delight, and the pal I was assigned to spoil was as well. So I thank you for putting up with all the crap to do something nice!


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:53 AM  

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