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FaerieLady Knits

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

I feel like I'm on the Texas Giant...

Ever have that feeling that you're on a rollercoaster ride? First life takes you wayyyyyyy up there, then the bottom falls out, but you don't actually *bottom out*, instead it starts all over again?

Sometimes this is how I feel. After a month of serious job hunting, the prospects are still non-existent. My home life seems to be getting better (one foot in front of the other), my social life however has come to that point of the bottom falling out.

I've figured out that my priorities are all in the wrong place. In the past couple months, it's been all about Kae around here, and it shouldn't be. I feel like I've mistreated the few close friends I have, and I can't bear that thought. Some of them I've decided that I need to back off from... I really don't have anything to say to them that hasn't already been said a hundred times. Some of them I still talk to on a fairly irregular-but-regular basis (if that makes sense). We check up on each other every couple weeks, make sure life is still going alright and that each other is doing well. Then there are those people who I talk to every day, we have similar interests and pursuits, and I really connect with them. Some of them have blogs... KnitSteph, Rose, Damia1966 (who is sadly blogless), the Benevolent Dictator of Spindlers (also blogless), SnakeWoman, and DragonsTalon. Those are (I think that's all of them) that I talk to every day and I feel revitalized and invigorated when I am talking to them, and have a warm fuzzy feeling about.

The ones I talk to on an irregularly regular basis are PoeticPurl, StinkerBell, Amrya, and a few others that are just as important but it's late and I can barely remember my own name.

I guess the process that I'm going through is just a type of priority reorganization in my social life. When and if the time comes that I feel I can talk to those that I've decided to back away from, then I'll attempt to contact them. If they decide not to, then I haven't really lost anything. It does hurt a bit to decide these kinds of things, but that's what life is all about, isn't it? Learning, making decisions, moving *forward* instead of standing still.

It's about damned time I started moving forward. I hate walking in place... it's just so..... repetitious. I'm not into repetion. New things are fun, new places, new adventures, new processes, new practices. I can always repeat the ones that I like. Moving in place means the view never changes. That leads to stress, depression, anger, and eventually apathy. That view is never good.

Ok, enough with the heavy stuff. Good content later!

FaerieLady posted at 9:04 PM

3 Speak to the Faerie Queen


Those who I'll label close friends aren't close in proximity, and some I don't talk often to. But a) I can count on them to be as generous as I would be to them, and b) we have a good time together when we get together. They're true friends who I can rely on even when they're having their own crisis. We're better together and having the network also makes us better apart.

That, for me, is a friend. Some people are extremely "popular" but I would say they have a lot of party pals and no true friends to hold their head up when lurching for the side of their deck. True friends will listen to you rant and rave just because you need to.

Through all that, remember, you have a sweet daughter and nice husband. Sometimes being all about Kae can be Kae focusing on building a better life for her family. That's a good thing, right?

By Blogger Freecia, at 11:08 PM  

I can relate to your reevaluating your friends and the people you're investing time and energy in. I'm doing the same thing at the moment, and it's really hard!

your secret pal

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:35 AM  

Forward is good a feeling. Even a small amount of accomplishment can make tough work seem so very worth it. Why else would women go through so much pain to have a kid.


By Blogger Danielle, at 2:34 PM  

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